Simpsons Bible Stories
The Simpsons are in church, listening to a long and boring Easter sermon in a sweltering heat. Each Simpson (except for Maggie) falls asleep and has a Bible-related dream. Marge: Homer & Marge Marge (as Eve) sees Homer (as Adam) fall from the sky onto sharp rocks. Ned (as God) forbids them to eat the Forbidden Fruit. The Snake (Snake Jailbird) tempts Homer into eating loads of the apples. Homer tempts Marge into eating one, but she is caught by God and kicked out of the garden. Adam tries to smuggle Eve back in, enlisting the help off many animals to dig a tunnel. Gary the Unicorn dies in the attempt. They are caught in the act, and Homer is kicked out too. Lisa: The School-Slaves Lisa (as Miriam) and Milhouse (as Moses) command Skinner (as King Rameses II) to let their people go. After several failed plagues and an escape from a Pyramid prison, they lead the Israelites to the shore, simultaneously flush all the Egyptians' toilets to drain the sea. After they have crossed the seabed, the water fills the sea back up, washing away the pursuing Pharaoh and his guards. Moses asks Lisa if they will have an easy life from now on - she tells him that they will wander the desert for forty years. When he asks if it's plain sailing after that, she quickly changes the subject. Homer: Homer The Self-King Homer is King Solomon, deciding which of two men owns a pie. He sentences both persons to death, cutting the pie in two and eating both pieces himself. His next case begins; Jesus Vs. Checker Chariot (A paper Jesus has says "My Accident" on it.). Bart wakes Homer up before the case can proceed. Bart: King Bart vs. Goliath II Bart (as King David) has killed Goliath, but his oldest friend Methuselah (Abe Simpson) is killed by Goliath II (Nelson). David tries to kill him, mistaking him for Sampson and chopping off his hair, before being thrown by a slingshotted away into the mountains. David tells Shepherd Ralph Wiggum of his plight: Ralph tries to kill Goliath II but dies trying. David sneaks into Goliath II's tower, which is blown up in the ensuing battle. Goliath II emerges from the flames, ready to strike, when Ralph kills him with his own tombstone ("Ralph! I thought you were dead!" "Nope!"). David is then thrown in jail for regicide, since the people agree that Goliath II was a better king than he ever was. Goliath II is also the name of a 1960 Disney short. End Sequence: The Apocalypse The Simpsons wake up. Marge is ashamed that they fell asleep in church, to which Homer answers "It's not the end of the world!" As they walk outside, they discover that the Apocalypse/Rapture is upon them. The Flanders go to Heaven (because of them being extremely devout and going to church a lot) while the Simpsons go to Hell (because of them not having Christian beliefs although they go to church.) Lisa is the only one going up to Heaven, but Homer pulls her down, saying "Where do you think you're going, missy?" A stairway opens to Hell, and they enter. Homer can be heard screaming: "They're out of hot dogs! And the coleslaw has pineapple in it! Ahhhhhhhh! German potato salad!"